2004-11-30-10:57 p.m.
this is my last diaryland entry. I've moved over here for future posting. I'll be pulling this site down soon, so update your links if you read me. I'll still be keeping tabs on you diarylanders that I still read.

2004-11-15-10:06 p.m.
Ro has been calling me Mommy Kangaroo a lot because I've been wearing a particular fleece hoodie due to the chilly weather. It has a partial zip front and he always wants to sit in my lap and pull the fleece over his head too so that his head pokes out through the neck hole as well. Then, he's a joey, which makes him happy. He ate breakfast this way this morning, which is a little uncomfortable for me but I can still sip my tea so I'm ok with it.

Ro's been hauling his tool box around the house and fixing things - but not the things that I would expect. He fixed the couch by tapping it numerous times with a hammer and throwing the pillows on the floor.

He's fixed my broken arms several times. When my arm hangs straight, the elbow skin is wrinkly. When Ro sees my wrinkly elbow, he says it's broken. Then, he'll bend my arm so that the elbow skin smoothes out and announce that he's fixed it. He does this to grandma too.

Sim had three meals for the first time today. I think she likes the steamed pear and sweet potato mixture that I made her. She's really been giving me hassle on the feeding, so today was a nice change.

2004-11-13-11:23 p.m.
We're having poor outing luck lately. A few weeks ago, Ro got bit quite badly by another boy at an indoor open play. A week or so after that, he got kicked in the face at the kid's museum by another boy. It was an accident but still it put him in a more fragile mood than he had been. Then, he fell headfirst from the top of a slide the week after that but luckily caught the ladder or grabbed the ladder and scraped his face a bit but didn't actually hit his head. I don't know how. It was craziness.

Yesterday, while standing in line at the grocery store, an elderly man accidentally put his motorized cart in reverse and backed into Simone and Roen. They weren't hurt but Sim cried and Ro fell off the stroller and I yelled at the man to stop his cart as I was dragging them backwards out of the way. He didn't even notice because he was yelling at the checker about why he didn't get a free turkey. Fortunately, the checker noticed and got him to stop. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I was pretty mad but I cut elderly people a lot of slack. He didn't even apologize though.

Today, was my turn. I was in the science museum sitting on a bench, nursing Sim and watching Ro and my husband play nearby when suddenly half my head felt like it exploded. I sat there clutching Sim and staring into space wondering what the heck had just happened. A family gathered in front of me and stared at me. I remember looking and them and saying GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN and holding my head. Then the father started babbling that his son didn't mean it and didn't understand. He was autistic. Blah, blah blah. I said WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I still couldn't figure out what was going on because I was stunned or something. Then, the father babbled some more and the boy, who looked to be 12 or 13, started screaming and flailing his arms and the family dragged him away rapidly while I sat there gaping stupidly into space trying to reassemble my shattered mental faculties. After awhile, I realized they had been apologizing for their son throwing a ball at me and hitting me in the head. The room was filled with games with solid wood balls about the size of a golf ball. I was vaguely relieved something had actually happened to my head and that it wasn't exploding on the inside on it's own -- which is what it felt like. Husband didn't even see it happen so he didn't realize anything was wrong. It took me awhile to even be able to tell him anything had happened. I was so out of it. I still have a wicked headache - 12 hours later. I'm surprised such a small ball could hurt so bad. I feel like I got hit with a bat not a ball.

Oh yeah, if you think I'm crazy about the horrible jeans. This was on CNN today. The horror, the horror..... I can't imagine wanting to look like this.

2004-11-10-11:26 a.m.
Yesterday, I bought new jeans but not without a lot of turmoil and trying on. I haven't worn women's jeans in 15 years or so but I thought I'd try them on for a change of pace. It was a disaster!!!! I didn't think I was down to a size four yet so I got some sixes and they were so hard to get on. The zipper seemed really short. They were really tight in the thighs and butt and turned into wrinkled pools of fabric from the knee down. And, they were really long because I was standing on three or four inches of fabric as well. Despite the tight thighs/butt, the waist was far too large, so I couldn't even go up a size without having really ridiculous amounts of fabric bunched around my waist as well. Anyhow, one look in the mirror left me shocked from seeing my apparently huge rear end thrown into glaring relief. I tried on other styles but they all seemed to be just slight variations on the same terrifying theme. Needless to say, I left the dressing room in a depressed state but quickly cheered up when I started checking out the other women in the store. Every last one of them had on some variation of those weird jeans and they all looked like they were competing for the World Fat Ass prize. So, I guess the jeans are supposed to fit that way. Big butts must be "in". Anyhow, I bought men's jeans yet again -- because I'm not really into that J Lo look.

2004-11-9-1:22 p.m.
We had such a nice mellow weekend spent mostly raking leaves, which Ro loved. He was wonderful and sweet and chatty all weekend. Ro was even astoundingly cooperative on Monday, when I took Sim and Ro to the doctor to get vaccinations. He was so fascinated with watching the doctor examine Simmy and he loved the doctor's tools, especially the eye/ear light thingy. Eventually, he grew concerned because Sim was crying through much of the exam but we assured him that she wasn't being hurt. When the doctor was done Ro pronounced Sim to be "fixed". Then, Sim got her shots and didn't even cry. Then, it was Ro's turn and I was nervous. In the past, he's been quite a handful at the doctor. Although it hasn't been the shots so much as getting weighed and measured that have caused issues. Anyhow, I told him the shots were going to hurt but only for a few seconds. He dropped his pants and made a face with each shot and that was it. (Ro was lucky enough to get a flu shot.) Then, he patted his bottom and said the doctor "fixed it". He also thanked the doctor - who was pretty shocked at how good natured both kids were being today. Evil Nurse wasn't overwhelmingly evil either -- only mildly hateful.

2004-11-07-10:27 p.m.
Today, Ro drew his first person-like figure. He had a big heart shaped head with a big smile, long legs and little feet. I loved it but was bummed that he drew it on a chalkboard and I didn't have my digital camera with me to at least get a picture of it.

I'm really happy he draws a little now. I've been trying so hard to coax him back into it. He used to draw and then realized I drew better than he did, so he quit because he has some perfectionist tendencies even at his tender age. Anyhow, I will only draw certain things for him now and if he wants anything new then I still draw it -- but really crappy and say, "Gee, I don't know how to draw an airplane." I want him to be disatisfied with my drawing and do his own.

However, he likes to draw with me. If I draw a train, then he'll draw the smoke, tracks, coal, couplings, driver, clouds, and the sun. He's branching out a bit more on his own now which makes me really happy.

I was really struck by something Chuck Jones (famous animator) wrote about kids and art. He came from a large family of six or eight kids, and four of those kids went on to be artists. He thought this happened because their parents were so busy that they didn't ever praise them for their artwork. Therefore, the kids created what they wanted and didn't get trapped into trying to please their parents/gain attention with their art work. This might sound strange but it really struck a chord with me. I got into writing poetry when I was still quite young like seven or eight. I didn't tell anyone about it. I just did it and then went on with life. Then, my dad found my poems and went crazy (happy) and read my poems to everybody because he thought they were so great. I was really happy. Anyhow, I never wrote another decent poem because I got caught up in trying to make my dad proud again so my poetry got really formulaic and then I got bored with it and quit. So, sometimes positive reinforcement isn't a good thing. Sometimes it's better to be neutral.

2004-11-06-10:19 a.m.
A bunch of randomness today....

I just found out my obgyn died and I'm really cut up about it. I saw him for my post delivery check up in mid-September and had this feeling that I wouldn't see him again which isn't quite as odd as it sounds because he was old. Anyhow, while he was telling me that I didn't have to come back again until next year I was just looking at him and thinking that he wouldn't be here next year. However, I didn't expect him to die three weeks later. I'm so sad. You can really get to know your obgyn well because you see them so much when you're pregnant. I liked him a lot. Besides -- he saved my life. How could I not be sad? Every day I pick up Simmy and I'm so thankful I get a chance to be her mom.

Speaking of little Sim, she has started rolling over this week. The first time she did it, I thought I freakishly rolled her across the floor. I set her on the floor for "tummy time" and she plonked right over on her back. I put her back on her stomach and she went right onto her back again and again. Now she never has to have "tummy time" and I'm sure she's pleased.

Yesterday, Ro reminded me that I sing like a sick crow. Today, he was looking at DVD extras and wanted me tell him what the other DVDS shown were about. I told him that one was about learning songs -- such as -- ummm ---Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I then launched into Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Ro turned around to stare at me and started shouting "No!No!". Then, he took my hand and in his sweetest voice said, "Mommy, Mommy, You can stop now". Sigh. He's the only baby I've ever known who cried every time I sang - especially Old MacDonald. Man! That song really made him wail. I don't really know many kids songs. I don't even know all the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I mostly regale Sim with either Silent Night, Take the Skinheads Bowling, or Triangle Man. She doesn't mind my singing at all. In fact, she likes it.

previous - next