2003-04-24-10:28 p.m.
Our family Easter weekend went quite well. Husband's parents came down for several days. We all went to church with my parents and I put Ro baby in the nursery -- in the care of STRANGERS. **Gasp!** I then spent the first 20 minutes of the service having a wicked anxiety attack until I could skulk off to the nursery and check on him. He was laying on the floor rolling a truck around and was perfectly fine -- so I was ok after that. Not great but better. I've never left Ro baby with a non family member and I didn't care for it. I'm probably heading toward being an overprotective and neurotic mother.

Ro baby is sort of like my Hope Diamond --- extremely valuable, irreplaceable and precious. The idea of hiring some teenage chit to come watch Ro baby whilst I go out to the movies is totally laughable. You would never hand the Hope Diamond off to a local teenager to watch for you -- why would you hand over your kids. Man -- I don't want a teenager anywhere near Ro baby with all their angst, identity crises, and drug/drink experimentation they seem like the worst people ever to leave your kids with. Do you think some teen age girl/boy would save your kids if the house caught on fire? Probably not.

In some ways, I find my reluctance to use babysitters a little strange as I, myself was a baby sitter for years and years. I started baby sitting at age 12 and took care of children as young as three weeks old. I didn't even know CPR. I had angst and identity crises regularly but I think I was still a reasonable baby sitter even for kids I totally hated -- like the little demon, whose parents only seemed to feed him Cool Whip, Cheez-it crackers, and Diet Coke. I looked after that little boy for two years and I never saw him eat anything but those three things. His personality was as weird as his diet. I didn't make that correlation as a teenager. I thought it was an unhealthy diet sure -- but now I'm really freaked out about it. What kind of mom would feed her kid any of those things on a regular basis? No wonder he was so weird. No wonder he didn't seem to grow much during those two years. No wonder he had the personality of a Pitt bull. Cool Whip and Diet Coke - yikes!

I'm feeling a little on edge and all I want to eat is chocolate. It must be PMS. The fact that Ro baby was up crying for two hours last night isn't helping either.

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