2003-03-20-1:44 p.m.
Ever since starting to teeth with his molars, Ro baby has been banging his head on things. Well, first he was banging his mouth and now it's his forehead. I knew it was sort of a normal toddler thing but it still really bothered me. While we were down South, he got upset about sleeping in the new crib and beat his head on the side probably 30 times at 3 o'clock in the morning. I don't really know how many because I was really out of it. That was the first time he ever did it so hard that he hurt himself.

Anyhow, I finally got around to doing some research on head banging -- and I guess it's not that big of a deal. Most sites, like this one, indicate it's fairly normal/common. It just looks awful and makes you feel really helpless as a mother. As you might expect, boys do it more than girls. The interesting thing was that for some kids it's a sign of tiredness and I think it might be for Ro baby. We're going to start watching him and putting him down when he starts doing it.

Yesterday, we went to the pediatrician. I was dreading it because Ro baby was up for about two hours last night, which usually means he'll be a grump all morning. However, it went much better than our last visit where the doctor and nurse seemed stressed out and impatient with Ro baby. This time we were their first patients, so they were still fresh and not feeling harassed yet. If they see very many kicking screaming toddlers in one day, I can imagine they feel quite spent by the afternoon.

The doctor said Ro baby was really strong -- as he grappled with him and tried to keep him on the examining table. It took both of us to hold him down to get examined. He hated that more than the shots. He's still in the 90th percentile for height and 50th for weight.

I also talked to the doctor about Ro baby's tantruming -- and the head banging, and throwing up, and gagging himself that are all part of it. It's very bewildering and upsetting -- especially the gagging and head banging. Screaming until you throw up is also very disturbing. The doctor said it was all within the normal range of tantruming for a strong willed kid and to ignore it, stick to our boundaries and reinforce good behavior like crazy. If we reacted to it, he'd start using all these bad behaviors for attention seeking, which is exactly what we've been doing and that's what's been happening.

Tantrums actually seem less upsetting to Ro baby than they do to me. By upset, I don't mean angry. I just feel sad, anxious, edgy and stressed out that he hurts himself on purpose. Sometimes, Ro baby seems like he can just switch it on and switch it off. Whereas I still feel shakey, 20 minutes after he's quite a major tantrum. I guess I'll get used it. I'm just not used to emotional outbursts. All this just started vehemently on Monday but there's been signs of this sort of behavior building up for awhile -- just not this extreme.

It seems like Ro baby has major personality changes every few months. He goes to bed one kid and suddenly turns into another overnight and it's like living with a stranger for a few weeks until we can all readjust to the new version of Ro baby. This is third time it's happened.

Also, I pretty much can't pick him up any more if he's tantruming because he's really strong and he could easily kick himself free from my arms and fall or something. He thrashes like crazy and I find it very difficult to hold onto him. So, I've just been leaving him on the floor for his tantrums regardless of where we are because I don't feel like I can hold him safely -- but the head banging is really a problem. Though not as bad of a problem as dropping him on his head.

Yesterday, at Target, he decided to head bang on the concrete floor. He only did it once but it was with vigor. The cashier, another Target employee, and the woman behind me in line all gasped. It's an awful thing to watch. I'm sure he'll have a bruise from it. He only did it once -- because he's used to banging on carpeted floor, so I think he was a little surprised by the hardness of the concrete.

another horrid bedtime
So, He screamed for an hour and a half when I put him to bed tonight. This is the third night in a row that he's done this. I sat in his room some and went in every 15 minutes to try to get him to lay down -- but he just screams and then starts gagging/choking himself on the side of the crib somehow. It's really scary sounding.

How to people have more than one child? I'm totally amazed by that. I don't have the stamina


no comments
Also, two people left comments yesterday but I can't read them because Andrew did something to diaryland last night. sigh. Supposedly, updating your diary will make it work, so let's hope it does.

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