2003-03-10-12:07 p.m.
[We're baaaaaaaaack and kissing our boring brown carpeting in our joy to be home. I have many updates to make.]

March 1st
Traveling with a toddler is challenging. Our trip started out well. Ro baby thought the airport was cool. Security was cool. Mommy getting pulled by security and then getting patted down and wanded was cool - except it took too long because they did it while making her hold a kicking toddler in one arm so they could pat down the other one. (Why does this keep happening to me?) Daddy couldn't help because he was at another checkpoint busily going over his laptop with a another security fellow.

Running around the waiting area was cool. Looking at the planes was cool. Being in the plane was cool. The window seat was great. Watching the baggage people and little trucks zoom around was just peachy. Going real fast down the runway was quite nifty. The houses zooming by was fun, but then the houses started getting smaller and suddenly you could see their roofs --- and Ro baby's jaw dropped. Literally, dropped. He went into shock for a few seconds as he realized we were going up and that's when the screaming began. It wasn't your everyday irritable crying either. In fact, it was beyond outraged tantrum crying. It was screams of complete and utter terror -- total hysteria --- and it lasted the whole hour and a half flight to Cincinnati.

It was hideous. Worse than I had even imagined. I had thought he'd be angry about being in his car seat for so long but I hadn't anticipated FEAR, TERROR, and HYSTERIA. He's never reacted to our other flights at all - but he was much younger and lacked an awareness of both speed and height, which he now has.

To make matters worse, the screaming was combined with wild thrashing and head bashing and clawing and slathering. Ro baby looked like a rabid epileptic. It was so bad that people around us were passing us things like stickers and lollipops to see if anything could possibly calm the boy down. Stickers were useful. All the new toys I got were worthless. He didn't even look at them. His old truck was the only toy he'd have anything to do with. So, stickers and an old toy gave us two brief moments of respite - but the were only brief because he'd suddenly remember that we were up high in a weird shuddering vehicle that was seriously scary.

Everyone around us kept saying... Oh it must be his ears. I tried telling them he was scared, but no one believed me. I find it funny that people think so little of young children's comprehension skills. Ro baby is like a little engineer. He pays attention to heights, distances, hinges, wheels. He knows how things work. He can thwart baby proofing devices. He's actually very cautious and detail oriented for a little daredevil. He knew he was somewhere dangerous and that it wasn't good. I felt terrible for him because I hate flying. I think it's a stupid thing to do. Every time, I fly I just want someone to shoot me with a tranquilizer dart before I get on a plane. I sit there and act calm like everybody else but inside my head I'm just as upset as Ro baby. I don't know how everyone calmly sits around like they're on a Greyhound bus and nothings really wrong with the situation. I can't stop thinking about the 500 miles per hour and the 11,000 feet -- and terrorists, drunk pilots, inattentive air traffic controllers, etc. I wish I never had to fly again. The seats suck, the airports suck, it's fundamentally dangerous and you'll die if something goes wrong. It has a lot of drawbacks. The only benefit is speed. Ugggggggh.

The minute the plane touched down, Ro baby went from screaming to joyful and sociable. We survived the second flight because Daddy whipped out the laptop and played Lilo & Stitch and Ro baby calmed down and was quiet (but not too happy looking) until we had turn off electrical appliances for descent. We didn't do the DVD last time because Daddy wasn't able to sit with us.

As soon as the movie was off, Ro baby shrieked all the way to the ground and then he either passed out or fell asleep briefly. I'm not really sure, though he woke up as soon as the plane was on the ground. When we deplaned, he ran down the gangway in glee. In the waiting area, he spotted a stewardess sitting in a chair and reading a magazine or something. He let go of mommy's hand and ran to the stewardess and started chatting her up. She smiled at him, so he hopped into the chair next to her, chatting to her all the while. She said something to him and he suddenly jumped in her lap. We were surprised and so was she but she was laughing. We dragged him away from her. He has a thing for brunettes - especially Asian brunettes but any brown-eyed brunette will do in a pinch. If it had been a blonde stewardess, I don't think he would've given her the time of day.

Some of the bigger airports like Atlanta have businesses that rent portable DVD players and movies. If you're traveling with a toddler, I'd seriously recommend getting one.

Ro baby LOVES baggage carousels. He played on one (that wasn't moving) for over an hour while we tried to get our luggage from Delta, who had locked it in an office - because it apparently took us too long to get from the plane to baggage claim. Sheez.

Once we finally got to Poppy's house, we hung out and played with little Boo-Boo, which seems to be what everyone calls my little brother. Then, we tried to put Ro baby to bed and he shrieked for two hours - despite rocking, bottles, cuddling, sleeping with us, or in his crib. He finally collapsed sometime after midnight in his crib. The day was simply too much for him and me too. He's a really sensitive kid - any schedule changes really have severe repercussions.

You know a vacation is going to be trying when Day One makes you want to take a valium and have a few beers.

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